Roget

Item #: SCP-ALIN

Object Class: Red

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ALIN is to be held inside the secret Soviet Bunker, and is not permitted to leave unless Snowshoe says he can. Nothing he says is to be trusted, not even if he sweetens the deal by offering you access to his shitty "collective farm". Basically, this motherfucker is a troublemaker, and y'all be best served to steer clear of his ass.

Description: SCP-ALIN is a commander keen lookalike who fuckin' runs the whole goddamn soviet union. How he does it, nobody knows. Probably memetic or something.